Regimented Art.

Last week I took my mom to the Neue Galerie by 86th st and 5th ave. The Neue Galerie, founded by Serge Sabarsky, businessman/philanthropist and Ronald S. Lauder, art collector (from the Estee Lauder family), is devoted to early 20th century German and Austrian art and design (taken directly from their website - www.neuegalerie.org). Some of my favorite works and artists were there including, Gustav Klimt, Egon Schiele, Ernst Ludwig Kirchner, Vasily Kandinsky, Franz Marc, and even Degas, Picasso and some elusive Brancusi sculptures make appearances. Needless to say, we were both extremely excited to visit this museum.

It was a blustery, wintry day and we were expecting to be swiftly admitted (we were there by 11am on a Friday). However, when we approached there was already a queue of about ten people or so standing in the cold. The security guard was letting people in two by two, very diligently at that. Absolutely no liquids are allowed inside, including water, which is stricter than most museum/gallery policy. My mom even claimed she had Diabetes and needed the water... alas, it was to no avail. The stringent and strict museum policies allow for ABSOLUTELY NO LIQUIDS OF ANY SORT to be allowed in. I was surprised I didn't have to check my mini bottle of hand sanitizer at the door. My mom asked to leave the unopened bottle of (insert name brand) water at the front door. The security guard barely consented but warned her that it may be gone when she came out. We both thought, "Why would anyone throw out an unopened bottle of __________ water?"

Well, policy got even tighter as we walked through the museum. If you decide not to check your coat and/or scarf/hat/gloves etc, you must wear them for your entire visit at the museum. Apparently there have been "incidents" in which coats have destroyed priceless works of art? Or perhaps a scarf got out of hand and strangled a sculpture to death? And one must watch out for those gloves which run rampant down the halls tripping people so that they fall on top of priceless objects....

Out of principle, I refused to check my coat, gloves, and scarf, and walked through the overly heated museum sweating as much as I would have as doing Bikram yoga in a sauna.

Additionally, there was a woman who operated the elevator helping you get to either the second or third floor.  With all of those buttons, surely people panic from confusion...

The actual museum was formerly a mansion. The marble staircase inviting people upstairs to the wood paneled rooms, created a warm and cozy feeling. Truly, the building is beautiful and very well-maintained, perhaps due to the fact that children 12-16 must be accompanied by an adult, while children under 12 are not admitted at all. That'll teach those havoc wreaking, art loving kids to stay back...

There are about two guards in each (small) room, heightening the feeling of anxiety and "Big Brotherness." However, the collection is worth the overbearing security regime. Sabarsky and Lauder did a fantastic job of securing a phenomenal assortment of Austrian and German works, at all costs, really. Klimt's Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer, completed in 1907, was bought by Ron Lauder for $135 million in June 2006. The Vienna Secessionist, Klimt created this 138 x 138 cm gold and oil on canvas in an overtly decorative style. The delicacy of the woman is juxtaposed with the lavish and almost gaudy background creating a swirl of gilded fantasy.

Clearly, this purchase was a newsworthy event that intrigued the public, which could be seen by the crowd of people who surrounded this painting as though they had never seen a more beautiful work of art. Jaws dropped, heads tilted, and a glazed look came over those who gazed at this painting. While I am a fan of Klimt, this certainly is not my favorite work of his. In fact, Klimt's "The Dancer," which is also at the Galerie, is a more striking image.

However, there was nobody surrounding this painting... how driven the public is by over-consumption... Well, I was able to "consume" this painting in a fulfilling way as there was no one breathing on me or looming over me.

Another one of my favorites came from Schiele, with his ugly-sexy and highly eroticized "Self Portrait with a Twisting Arm" (1910).

Something about this really turns me on... and I have no idea why... nor do I care...

After ending in a room filled with medieval armor (apparently one of Lauder's collecting fascinations), we wanted to try Cafe Sabarsky, which is meant to be designed in a traditional Viennese Cafe fashion. There was a queue leading to the cafe, of which the hostess told us it would be a 30 minute wait and we could try the "German" style cafe, Fledermaus, downstairs. The lesser known, yet equally well designed cafe downstairs also had the same menu. Yet for some reason we determined to eat at Cafe Sabarsky. After a 10 minute wait, we were seated. That's a hostess who sure knows time estimation! We were seated at a tiny table by the fireplace, which was unlit. After we sat and placed our order, we noticed a beautiful window table become vacant. My mom asked a waiter if we could switch seats, and the waiter went to ask the hostess. The hostess came back asking if we had already ordered, which we replied "Yes." She then said, "Well, that makes things more complicated. The waiter won't know where to serve the food." Mind you, the table by the window was probably five feet (literally) from where we were currently seated. "Please ask the waiter," my mom said, "I have hip problems (fabricated) and need to sit in a cushioned seat." The waiter came to our table and said it was fine to switch almost laughing to himself that we wouldn't be able to due to all the "confusion" that would ensue...

The new table was much to our liking as there was light that shone in and we had a beautiful view of Central Park. The food was also to our liking. The Bratwurst mit Sauerkraut & Rösterdäpfel was delicious. The roasted sausage skin was crackling and crisp whilst the inside was juicy and succulent. The riesling sauerkraut was the perfect blend of sweet from the wine that cut the acidity of the kraut. The dijon mustard to dip the sausage in was pungent yet worked well with the sausage. We also ordered a pretzel that came with a delicious Bavarian honey mustard. Again the sweet and savory combination was perfect. I was less enthused with the hot chocolate, that actually came with a water chaser due to its intensity. The dark chocolate was not very distinct in flavor and seemed watered down. The whipped cream floating atop was the best part. Not to be missed are the desserts, so of course we indulged. The Sachertorte, or dark chocolate cake with apricot confiture, was rich and decadent. We couldn't finish the small piece due to its intensity. I certainly would eat at Cafe Sabarsky again.

The experience at the Neue Galerie was overall quite positive, despite the fact that the unopened bottle of water was thrown out upon our leaving. Also, the excessive rules and regulation made me feel even more uncomfortable in the German/Austrian museum. I got the strange sensation that someone was going to pop out screaming "Achtung!" if I accidentally breathed irregularly. They run a tight ship there is an understatement. Mussolini, himself, couldn't have held it down tighter. Looking at the German artwork and feeling this sense of oppression was chilling to say the least. However, to view some of the most amazing German Expressionist and Austrian artists, I'll deal with the bureaucracy.